Tribute to a Father...

Father's Day is always tricky for me. How do I find a way to bless my husband, father to the three most beautiful children I've ever seen?! I realized this year that what I really wanted for Mother's Day is what he should be able to have for Father's Day. And I griped about it when he made the plans to take care of it himself, when really I wished I had the initiative to go ahead and plan it for him myself. I heard a friend detail her ideal Mother's Day Weekend...Friday night in a hotel by herself, Saturday spent alone by the pool or shopping with friends and Saturday night back at home ready for breakfast served in bed by her kids on Sunday morning. Alas, I relinquish that this too is my dream. Albeit, it's not that easy to get away from a baby I am close to weaning but wasn't that close this past Mother's Day. Anyhow, I need to say that Don is all about golf, so why should I make him feel badly when he wants to spend Friday and Saturday morning golfing with friends on Father's Day weekend? I should be grateful to God that He has blessed my hubby with great men to be around, a hobby that promotes exercise and that he essentially finds ways to get to do for little cost. So, this is a tribute to my husband...

You are a daddy who is trying so hard to provide and I applaud you publicly and lift you up for many to see the honor you deserve. The grace in which God will give me as we live out these next three years of this doctoral program WILL be sufficient for me and I commit to being a helper to you, to think of your needs before my own, to wear the smile that won your heart and not the sorrow that can so easily consume me. I could not say it better than our Pastor has...he knows no one who is doing what you are doing...full time job, student, husband, and father to three in one of the expensive but most beautiful places on earth! But we commit anew to do this in God's strength not our own that the life that we are living and the future He has in store for us will only serve to be a great testimony to our God that we receive nothing but by faith, that promotion comes only from Him, that blessed are the poor, that no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly, that He who promised is faithful, and that His grace will be sufficient for us. You are a man to be admired by all who know you. You are a rare and priceless gift to this generation. You have a high calling and I again am humbled to be the woman to pray you through this and...to kick your butt when it needs it! I am your biggest fan and you are my only hero! So, let it be known throughout the land, that Queen Trina bids King Donald the grandest of Father's Day Wishes, the most heartfelt of Father's Day prayers and the most passionate commitment to love, honor, and respect you throughout this new year with God's love and not just my own. I love you.

A Manageable Amount of Stuff

As a professional organizer, I have come face to face with the state of our culture and the ill effects it has had on so many mothers in the area of managing our households. We are bombarded with so much variety for our kids in regards to toys and then there are the amazing deals we find at Target that even if we have plenty of cute clothes already for our kids, we buy more just to boast of the deals we scored! I ask you though, what is a manageable amount of stuff? Think back to the "olden days" as AJ calls them...really do we think they had toy rooms piled with 8 years of toys and stockpiles of garments that could clothe an army of children? Really, I don't believe it is God's desire that moms have this much stuff to manage, do you? I can't say that I don't enjoy the convenience of modern times, but even though we don't have money to buy our kids every toy their little heart desires, I still say there is no way that I would want to have as much as some mommas house in their kids playrooms, bedrooms, and garages. So what is manageable for me, you ask? A few boxes of cars for Keenan, some flashlights, some dress up clothes, two small bins of Legos, some ride-on toys, an organized shelf of books, a trunk neatly packed with games, crayons and coloring books, and a cabinet that neatly houses two very small shelves with less than a dozen toys for the littlest one. AJ has a dress up bin that she is ready to get rid of but I think the classic Disney dresses in there are something we will save for her children, along with a few special dolls, baby blankets, baby outfits and stuffed loveys. Other than that she has some clothes and some jewelry. She loves to write and swim. I am thankful that Barbies really never caught on with all that much enthusiam and the craft hobby is limited to what I can handle...simple oil pastels that she loves to create magnificient and no mess masterpieces! Maybe other moms are not bothered by the plethura of things out there to amuse a child, but I can tell you as a mom of three, what my kids love... attention from me, going to the park and swimming endless hours at the pool without tons of excessively useless pool toys! I guess you could say, I really do like to travel light and can't wait to get to Heaven where nothing has to come with me,

Zerbert Therapy

So a couple of days ago, I was playing on the floor with Darien. No other kids were home and none of them have ever done this to me. He lifted up my shirt just a bit and planted some loud, juicy zerberts on my tummy! I was cracking up! It was so unpracticed and spontaneous! What a neat way for him to show his love for me! He and Keenan decided that today it would be good to gang up on mom and do double duty on the slobbery fart sounding zerberts! So, thus my title, I received my own healing spa treatment...zerbert therapy! No hefty price, no sticky lotions and smells...just pure, unadulterated spitty love from my little boyfriends! Priceless...let me tell you! I am healed...body, soul and spirit from the love of these little sweethearts!

On another note, AJ had her first audition the other day and it went well. Alas, not hearing from them yet, I gather she did not land this one, but she had fun, it was easy parking, did not take a huge chunk of my day and we got the first one under our belt! Prayers for lots more...her agency says she will have tons more opportunities!

Summer vacation is almost upon us and my mom will be returning for the month of July to help me with the kids while I hopefully land a few more deals with clients. We look forward to celebrating AJ's 8th birthday with a pool party and sleepover...I know, yes, I have pretty much lost my mind! But, poor sweetheart, we haven't had too many sleepovers here due to space and noise issues with wakeful baby D for the past year. SO, I had to give in here. I do hope the girls can find some peaceful things to do...I know I am probably setting myself up for disappointment there, right?!

Just wanted to say to those who read that I appreciate your comments and think it is so fun to keep in touch this way even though I just cannot seem to be quite as faithful as I always promise to be! I have always loved writing and journaling and truly do have every intention to use this as an outlet to yes, archive my kids special moments, but also to offer a moment of encouragement from time to time.

Look for some pics of the kids again soon...

With thoughts of many of you...

Trina The MOMMY!

Darien

Darien is getting big and man is he hard to catch outside where there are so many birdies to chase after! He is such a sweet little man and I love the little thumb-sucker more than I could ever comprehend that I would have been able to love a third baby! I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant with him that managing three would surely push me over the edge especially after the many changes and tranisitons we had during our early years of marriage. However, the Lord in all His perfect wisdom, saw fit to add to our family and blow my mind in expanding my heart with a love for all my kids that has grown so deep and wide. I can say that I am learning to be content as a mom after all these years. I realized the other day down at the beach with all three by myself that I am okay to be by myself with them and not feel the need to always have to have a companion for myself anymore...like a mommy friend to keep me company. They are becoming my company. My life is so very full with them and I need to keep these moments at the forefront of my mind in the midst of the tricky, troublesome moments that come daily for sure. Oh I hope any and all of you can find strength today to be a mom who is good with just (and not that it's a "just") being mom and knowing that there is so much that the Lord is teaching you in being a mom. Hope you find this funny video of Darien and Daddy playing a funny "drink milk and AHHH...that tastes good" game. Donnie has done this with all of our kids but this may be the first we have captured it on video! Makes me smile...hope you do too!

AJ's beginning...

Well, we have finally made the big jump of getting zed cards and headshots completed for AJ. We are working with someone right now who we really hope will be able to help us get work for her. It was a lot of fun doing this photo shoot and we hope you will all keep this in prayer for us. God's timing is perfect and although we know this is a tough business, we are willing to give it a shot for her. It's only a few times a week that people have been telling us she has "that look" for being in print/commercials., etc!

SO SO REAL!

I realize now that really this blog should be something of a ministry tool of sorts. It is hard to find the time to be as consistent as I would like and I really need it more for just a simple way to keep some friends and family up to date with photos and events in the Lawrence life, but still, I see from some friends who have read that I must continue to speak maybe some of the deeper things of God in our life here in our little home in the Malibu Canyon Villas!

It's so easy to get stuck in the daily grind of my day with the constant clean up and responsibilities of helping with homework and planning playdates that I forget to enjoy these blessings. But when I sit down to blog, it helps to remind me of how wonderful they all are even in the midst of the endless correction and teaching that is necessary.

I feel the need to express again my surrender to not portray any model of perfection, but rather rugged realness, naked honesty of the truly ugly moments motherhood can bring out of me, out of many of us. We are not to leave behind us, in this season of mothering young ones, the things that helped recreate us in times before parenting consumed us. It is clear to me how quickly I become something I am not, (someone I loathe even )when I miss the moment to step away and find the me that isn't just MOMMMY! My committment is to continue to explore those areas again that will help me to get back to some of the me that is kind of missing. I want to be that person that people say, she is so real, I know I can trust her with my most messy stuff. I don't ever want to be the one that other moms look at and say ugh, when I am with her I feel like I will just never measure up. I have had mommy friend's like that who my husband would have to point out to me that, although I would defend myself and say that I just admired the excellence in how they did things, he would counter that I always came away from my time with them feeling as though all of my own mommy intuitions were never quite good enough. SO, let it be shouted from the mountaintops that I shall boast about my weaknesses as Paul talks of in the scriptures...that some of you might now you are not alone in those moments you feel as though you want to give up, that there is no hope for the impatient mom you have been. Know that you change is possible, that God isn't giving up on you and you shouldn't give up on His work in you either. It's often dark for quite some time in the midst of real change that he is trying to work in us. Sometimes we can't see His hand. Today I watched the animated film on Joseph. There is a song that sort of goes like, "you know better than I, you know the way." I watched it with Keenan today and I bawled like a baby at the end again just as I did when I watched it with AJ probably five years ago. There have been so many moments in my life with the difficult drama in my family that I throw myself on the pillow at night, wondering why as Joseph must have when his brothers sold him and he spent that many years in prison for false accusations, why have things had to be the way the have had to be. When will reconcilation come for me and for mine as it did for Joseph when the brothers came to Egypt and he revealed his identity to them and after testing them, forgave them and reunited with them? Will it come? Have I done enough? It is hard to say some days. I want to do more, I want to push for the outcome I want and then I feel to refrain believing somehow in the midst of all that has been that God is my defense, He has allowed these hard times of separation for a purpose far greater than I can understand now. He has allowed what He has to make me who He created me to be. I will not cower and shy away from the gentle hand of my surgeon who is only working in me to not leave me the mess that I know I am but to make a testimony, a great example of His power being made perfect in all of my weaknesses! Oh God, let me be, SO SO very REAL...that they may know how very Real and Alive YOU are!

The First Five at Malibu Crumbs!

YUMMMMMMY!!! Let me just say that there are seasons of life that I feel lead to abstain from sweets as some sort of sacrifice, as a fast of some kind. I am soooo glad today was not one of those times committed to such, cause the bakery CRUMBS opened up in Malibu and my clan of five were the first customers in line to receive our share of the 1000 free cupcakes they were to give away today! Keenan was so excited about one with tons of bright green frosting on it with blue sprinkles and chocolate icing on it>>>and of course you know what happened, it was a bit sweet for him, so....I had to help him with it! And then I advised AJ that the oreo cupcake might be a bit too much for her and would she please let me help her pick something a bit more suited for her simple taste buds...but alas no, my little lass just had to appease her curiousity and get that enticing oreo cupcake. Oh, you guessed again...she didn't love it and to her daddy's demise, fussed a bit over it, so Momma got to get a few, maybe more than a few nibbles of hers too! And then, well it was one cupcake per person, so Darien chose the Red Velvet...well, you know I helped him a bit of course! That one is untouched for tomorrow or maybe til tonight's midnight craving! Daddy chose the peanut butter cup one and ate about half of it and don't tell, but I sampled a teeny, tiny bit of that one too! And what you have all been waiting for...I chose the Grasshopper Pie one! I have always loved anything Mint Chocolate Chipy! And I do declare...that my choice was the tastiest one of them all! So, my little, well maybe not so little sweettooth is so totally satisified today with it's 5 gourmet cupcakes! Just had to share a little laugh with you before some of the more serious things that might need to be said here soon!